i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
