Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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