i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
