i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it's like iHOP with fire
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
