Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
