I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
