He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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