Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I cut my penus on the lid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
