If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
