just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
