Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
