my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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