I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
