Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
