and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
