A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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