i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
