lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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