you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
