i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
