Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
