How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
