You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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