The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think my moral compass just broke
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