Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i now understand why vodka
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
