The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
