If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
