ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
should my penis look like a turkey
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
