I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm too high and old for this...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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