his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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