I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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