looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
