I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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