I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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