I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
barbara walters just said penis...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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