Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
