Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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