I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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