Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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