its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize