it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
