Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We don't watch enough power rangers
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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