This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
