Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
