I want you more than these girls want KFC
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
