I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
