I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
