My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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