:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
