So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I supernannyed him into submission
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
