My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
