Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize