whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
