no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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