i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
