Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize