Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
