What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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