I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
