so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my poor anus
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
