You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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