I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
