I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
