doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
