She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
worst night to have a conscience
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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