If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize