i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
