you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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